We are the World

Well since its not news that I heart M.J. I was jamming out to "We are the World" so I felt I should share it.
Hi Im a loser... its 12:50am and I am listening to We Are The World....I need a life. There are a few things I would like to point out in this video that I feel are notable :
1-Willie Nelson = pre VERY old age and too much pot
2-Cyndi Lauper = No explanation
3- Stevie Wonders =braided pony tail
4- Couple of Creepy Mustache guys
5-Bruce Spingsteen = Looks like he might being a #2 while singing, I don't know I'm just saying



All said and done, it's got a good message. And the message I got is, I'll never be as awesome as Cyndi Lauper, Or apparently Dan Akroyd... I think he sneaks in there somewhere...

missed classes = no babies

I was on Facebook, ya know spying (ha) on peoples blog, which I heart doing and it occurred to me how different my life is to most people with in my age range. Now, don't misconstrue what I am saying here, because I love my life, I just find it interesting the place I am in life compared to some people I know. I was looking at some blogs of people I grew up with in TX, CO, and UT and like 90% of people have at least one child. Kids are great for some people, I am just not sure if I am one of those people.
I look at these peoples blogs and they look happy... don't get me wrong... but all I think of is being so strapped down and stressful. Do they look at mine and think my life is irresponsible or 'flighty' because I don't have that? It's interesting how people perceive each other is I guess my point. I talk about my job, which is something I passionately love doing, my incredible husband who each day amazes me with his vast knowledge and always trying to improve, my uh HELLO beyond cute pood's who keep my sane, (Guess that depends on your def. of sane is...). I talk about my trips that I worked hard to save for, and the craziness that is my crew of girls. And other totally random topics like Joe Jackson, Breast Cancer Awareness, nugs.... I just can't help but think that some of these people (if they even read mine) how irresponsible and shallow my life must be with out children.
We are entering in a weird time in our young mid adults years, after most people are married and or serious with someone, then hhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee come all the babies. ...now don't get me wrong,..... I enjoy chippies, really but I also enjoy passing them along.
I was talking to my friend Nat about all the babies, and I feel like I am out of an exclusive club.
Club Crew chats have changed from Girls Night and what to wear.... to...How I have some vomit on my top and Chuck E Cheese. (Which I actually secretly looooovove)


I just missed the class on how to conjure up the emotions to feel maternal, ya know.
Never say never, It is what it is, and I will continue to love and support all 2345 in my life :)

Red = Bad Ass

Just in case anybody wasn't aware, I am married to a pretty bad ass guy. A couple of years ago, he came up with a form of treatment for therapy called Emotional Fitness Rehabilitation (EFR). It combines working out/fitness with mental health. It teaches you tools to help "intervene" with your mental health while working on your fitness, giving yourself ways to help work through your thought process. He has been toiling over this form of treatment for the past couple years. He had a few buddies that wanted to get involved with a pilot study for it, which Weber State funded thanks to a professor friend of Jeff's. We call him the old man... :)
Anyways, in the study they took the kids from YHA (a group home for juvi sex offenders) and brought them up to WSU gym where they were shown the exercises to do, and the tools to help with the mental health part of it. This study lasted for months, and it was very, VERY time consuming for them. Well the study is now over, and the results are in.
EFR is proven to work and be a productive from of therapy at 99%!! So where do they go from here... well a larger study will probably be picked up, and they will probably be published in a journal! And then the sky's the limit as far as ways to spread it around.
I am So incredibly proud of my husband. He is SO incredibly motivated and his brain is always on OVERDRIVE thinking of the next thing and/or how to make his current project better. He is truly amazing to me, I mean he pioneered this form of therapy and came up with all tools needed for to make it work between mental health and physical health. This whole undertaking of a project is literally his baby.
So kudos to my fabulous husband for pursuing his dreams and never settling for mediocre.
I LOVE YOU RED

PS - I Have all my Christmas decor up and it looks FABULOUS!

Unspoken

I don't blog that often about serious things. Especially serious subjects that have to do with something that is private or incredibly personal to me.... I am not posting this blog to get comments of praise, how much you think of me or fishing for anything. Honestly, I am not even sure why I need to write about it, maybe self soothe.
There are a couple things that people don't generally know about me, because I hide behind, a "tough" exterior as my parents call it, humor, false confidence, and sarcasm. Today has been a "unicorn" day for me... which is code for not a very good one. I battle with severe depression everyday of my life. Some days I am really great, and other days... well not so stellar. I am usually ok at deflecting my emotions, talking myself out of crying or thinking so poorly of myself. But today, I had no such luck.
There are people that think that depression is not a real thing. These people obviously do not know someone that deals with it. Its like a light switch inside... I was driving, picking up my friends dog to babysit, and the next thing I knew I felt very upset for no apparent reason and I just couldn't stop crying. Thank the lord for big sunglasses while driving, right. This puts a incredibly vulnerable side of me out there to whoever reads this, but it is part of who I am, despite sometimes wasted efforts to feel like I "have control".
I was talking all three dogs out to potty and for a walk in the brisk canyon air, so I bundled up and put my IPOD on. Now, it's not brand new information that I am a tad obsessed with PINK, and I feel like I can identify with a lot of her songs. Her song "Sober" came on and for the first time since I have really heard it the lyrics really struck me. Pretty conducive to my day. Especially the third verse.


Sober Lyrics

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

Aahh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
When I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm comin' down
Comin' down
Comin' down
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Looking for myself.. Sober

Comin' down
Comin' down
Comin' down
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Looking for myself.. Sober

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry
Never again
Broken down in agony
And just trying to find a friend

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?


For most people, we don't talk about things that are uncomfortable, or maybe have a particular stereo-type attached. I am by no means different, and I don't know why I decided to write this particular blog, maybe I just needed to get some things out for just me... but maybe it might help someone to think they aren't alone in the way the feel, and even if its uncomfortable, its my reality.
PS I saw Michael Jackson's THIS IS IT today, AMAZING!

Things that make ya go hmmmm....

So, as it turns out I really don't have much to say anymore. What the hell happened to me, because I really do enjoy blogging???? Well I am going to make this one kick a blog, ...well I'll try.

First things first, Everyone knows how much I despise Vegas :) So I was drug down there for over Halloween shenanigans. It was a blasty blast! This trip we stayed at the Luxor... hoping to catch a glimpse of Criss Angel Mind Freaking someone. No such luck. Jess and I drove down and Jana met us there, because she had to fly in from Reno. Even though we didn't stay at the same hotel, we met up with my friend and old roomie from the "tame" Disney days, Theresa, her sister, their friend Heather who turns out it pocket size, .... and two other people that we never saw, they just stayed in the room, LAME! We went dancing all 3 nights and had an absolute blast!! Just a little FYI for anyone trying to get into L A X at the Luxor. What.a.joke. On Halloween we waited FOREVER, and then Jana and some dude in line had words.... and as he walked past me, I threw my ice water on his feet. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA Don't worry he didn't know it was me. Moral of the story line standers = DON'T BE A DOUCHER! Halloween was crazy there.... I mean people were literally wearing the most scandalise, risque and repulsive costumes. A girl was walking around in booty shorts (so pretty much underpants) a white fur shrug, bunny ears and PASTIES! Quit it, you can't make that shit up! Who does that, o right whores.

Now I must say this was a very educational PG trip for us (minus the fact that we were in Vegas with people 1/2 dressed for Halloween shenanigans) . We went to a Titanic Artifact Exhibit, a Body Worlds exhibit focusing on nerves and the Shark Reef at the Mandalay Bay. Then we went to Broadways production of The Lion King. See Biggie and Mama... PG. mmmmm, at least during the day time. Hahaha kidding . Both of the exhibits were reallt interesting, actually.

Here, enjoy some picture:

This we had a fabulous time!! If ya can't tell. The foot picture is us standing over the shark reef... we weren't just admiring our toesies. :)

OK, now on a business note, the holidays are coming up... & we all know that means we procrastinate.... So make sure to make your appts. for between now & New Years slightly in advance. Holiday season = Mad house in my boothe b/c, lets be honest I pretty much rock! **Side Note** A big THANKS to all my friends and clients for taking part in the Breast Cancer Awareness Month's specials. I have 3 ponytails to donate and there are a dozen+ clients and friends walking around with PINK in there hair! I will be doing something similar in February for Ovarian Cancer Month, so keep your eye's peeled.

Hmmm , what else. There are a few things bothering me these days. I would just like to know how some people end up with ZERO tact, awareness for other people and the ability to pat themselves on the back for their friendship or lack of to someone. Interesting to me is all, we are all raised differently but aren't some things just social skills? Also what's with peoples status updates on Facebook.... if you feel the need to brag ab things on a freaking social network, there probably NOT true. Just saying. Or hidden agenda "forward" emails... really? OK that's all I will bitch about for now.

O wait one more thing, Jeff gave me his black spot. It's called Impetigo.... pretty much I look like I have leprosy with all these sores on my face. Not only does it feel good but it looks aawweessoooomme. Well, the silver lining is my limbs wont fall off from leprosy since that's not my diagnosis. haha

Widowing it up in the Wendover

Hellllloooooo
Not to much has been going on... so I haven't been blogging much. However, The Crew and I (Christie, Mexican Jessica, Celina, Cellen, Casey, Farrah and I) went up to Wendover for Deer Widows. We had an absolute blast! I got sick when we first got there, from Wendy's. I think I either got a bad piece of chicken or my body isn't used to the grease in fast food. So I threw up a few times...which felt awesome on the old jaw... but after sipping on some water and Sierra Mist, curtsy of Ms. Celina, I felt loads better.
Here are some pictures that I stole from Fare's facebook page. I am just saying, we looked fabulous!
I have been cleaning out the basement the last couple weeks.... ooo lord, what I chore that is. I really did not think that through. Turns out we have A LOT of shit! And also.. a lot of spiders down there. Nice, real nice. I am trying to clear out one side so when we have our annual Halloween party this Saturday, I want people to be able to go down stairs to hang out. I still don't have a costume (boo) but Jeff however is going to be... a ... redneck. Awesome. Any ideas for me????
Well I am going to attempt to go to bed. And by attempt I mean play Monopoly on my phone because this blog is Borrrriiinng.

Joe Jackson = Dorian

SO we all know that my brain works on a very weird level... Well the other day I was thinking about much of a creepster Joe Jackson was at the VMA's and then it hit me... Joe Jackson was the villain Dorian in the Mask.... All they did was paint his mug green because look here, the resemblance is Riidiiiiicuuuuullllouuusss !!Now I went with an older, more glamorous picture of old Joe boy, I mean he even has some sweet jerry curls all greased up. He hasn't always been a money hungry creeper you guys, he once beat kids too!!! And I feel like his necklace that you can't see the bottom of in the picture, probably was gold and a scaled down version of Africa. You never see Joey boy without his Gold Medallions, you know he showers with that S on. I'm being rude... I am sure he is a lovely gent. ....On some level.... I might be the same as Howard K. Stern to Anna Nicole Smith, but on some twisted level, I am sure he's fabulous.

I was also reading Dlisted today, and he totally made the un-canny connection with the LaToya and her long lost twin...Listen... I am just saying, it's true. THANKS DLISTED for finally making that connection!!!

I love the Jacksons but holy hell, why do they all look like make-believe characters? WHY!