Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's all relative to the size of your steeple

Since I have a working computer, I guess I should be better about updating this mess. I had a LLLOONNGG drive home from Provo tonight so I was brain storming blog topics. And since I like lists so here we go :

Topic #1:
Marilyn Manson. He totally came on the radio on my drive home. It brought a smile to my chubby face. I used to heart him, don't judge. Get that look off you face, I don't mean love like I want to lick bat blood off his chest, ..... I mean I liked his music. I'm a complex dame, get over it. I feel as if he is mis-understood, as am I. Whats wrong with swearing, lots of make-up and a little blasphemy? Sounds like a Wednesday night to me... I will post a video for your viewing and listening pleasure...which I am sure Mama, Biggie and Steph are going to 1000% hate (I remember watching this live in middle school)

Topic #2: (on a less goth note)
Swears. Now, if you are new, I like to swear. I think its funny and always appropriate. Some people, don't feel that way... Shit, damn, hell, always funny in my book. You know what's the most funny, Bitch is. (It's about this moment, Biggie is shaking his head and bleeding from his ears) Now, I know some people don't hear swears that much...Mama, Biggie, Moore's in Memphis, anyone in Utah County... so I guess I understand the shock value to them but for me, I'm around it ALL THE TIME and it just comes out. My parents always told me only uneducated people swear because they can't think of anything else to say. Well HELLLLLOOOO people, I am an idiot, thanks. No other words pop into twisted, not so bright mind. So, the moral of this is, sorry if I offend with my bitches and hells, but at the end of the day, I keep my shit real. :)

Topic #3:
Michael Jackson. So since, the old computer has been on the mend, I didn't get to express my feelings on his untimely death. I have always been a fan on his. Even as a kid. I mean he was a complete nut job, but I always loved him. Now, I probably shouldn't even say this but what the hell... I ***ALLEGEDLY** did a dance to MJ's heal the world and put band aids all over myself. This sounds like something I would do...but I swear I have no memory of this at all. But, I will say just because I don't remember doesn't mean it anything... I mean Biggie doesn't remember sticking green beans up Patty and I's noses when we were kids because we wouldn't eat them but it happened. IT HAPPENED DAMN IT!!! Not... traumatizing... at... all... Love ya big!

Topic #4:
Babies. OK OK, before I say anything, I would like to say a huge CONGRATS to Val and Steph and their upcoming addition due in March 2010! I am pretty excited because they make very adorable babies. THAT BEING SAID, I was thinking the other day about all the money I have spent on showers, baby birthdays, hospital gifts when born, Christmas presents... that's a lot of damn money. You know what people gave me when I got the poodles, a pat on the back. O o o, wait not even that! So... If I ever have children, I expect all my friends to pitch in and buy my a trip to Hawaii! Thanks in advance :)

Topic #5:
Help. So you know how those giant fatty's get on TV or the Internet and post for free surgery to get "healthy"...(They really just want to be sickly skinny but whatever), that's what I am doing. If anyone wants to pay for me to look like Nicole Ritchie without child, that would be awesome. THHHHAANNKS... Turns out because of my post surgery and infection-problems I haven't been as good this summer... Listen, someone tried to talk to my stomach because I look pregnant... awesome. Hold on while I hang myself....

Ok, I am getting ridiculous so see ya bye. PS I love my sister Mary Rose, she is amazing. (And I love the rest of my family too..)


Katie said...

Whoever tried to talk to your stomach let me know and I'll kick their ass! Look- I take care of business...

The Bombic said...

I just want to say that the Bandaid incident AND the green bean ordeal did happen. And I don't think my childhood would have been the same without them. :)

And I will echo the awesome family comments. You guys rule.

mamasteph said...

Since you like lists so much, here goes.....
1) you are right, Marilyn Manson is not my fave....mostly because he creeps me out.
2) you are not an idiot!
3) thank you for all the spoiling you do to our kiddos.
4) I did send your poodle boys some outfits this year! :)
5) I'm glad your computer is working again. I like the new blog design
6) you are a beautiful girl who is always too hard on herself. Give yourself a little credit-you just had surgery on your FACE! You deserve to take some time off of dieting--it is highly overrated!
7) Love ya sis!

The Brady Bunch said...

Swears are funny, I'll be the first to admit it! And for some reason, they're even more funny when you say them-its that great timing thing you do! Marilyn Manson...didn't know you felt that way about him. Ya learn something new every day.

Tiffany Carter said...

Ok topic one. marilyn mason is satan's spawn. topic two Swearing is funny and as a local mormon I will admit I do it a lot. topic three michael was confused and hopped up, it was bound to happen. god bless him. topic four congrats val and steph on the babes... at least you are in a good place to have babes...jeal... topic five you aren't fat. you need to work on your self image you are beautiful and everyone thinks it. ok end topics. I love you

Hair Goddess said...

You know what's the most funny, Bitch is.

HAHAHA!! I love how that's worded. It's like you are asking a question while stating a fact. Do you know what's wonderful, You are. See how that works?

TheKillerJ said...

By the way, Katchie doesn't talk to herself. The "Do you know what's funny, Bitch is." comment was mine.

Sorry babe! haha

Trey said...

nice sister.. you make me giggle.. love ya.. don't worry about the swears though sis.. plenty of people swear in utah county

Biggie T said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Listen, I too LOVE Marilyn Manson. Beautiful People and Sweet dreams are on the Ipod right now, and are great running tracks. I really love when he screams so loud you cant even understand a word he is saying. Really gets the run going! :)NOT. A. JOKE. Also I just want to say you are gorg and I love you madly, and honest if you want me to "take care of anyone" We know people. As Jess has said Joe is in the Mexican mofia. We dont mess around. So glad your computer is working again. Gives me something to do at work!