Friday, December 12, 2008

I like dancing raisins... get over it

You guys, Shut up... I am totally going to try out for a sugar plum fairy in The Nutcracker. Ha yeah, not really... but with the gut I'm sporting these days it's either that or Santa... And I'm not equipped with an adam's apple sooooo.... And when I say a sugar plum fairy, in my head I imagine a California raisin dancing around with wings and a wand with a grape on the end..... you don't want to get inside my head... Woooo

What the hell is the matter with me... it's like 10pm on a Friday night and I am blogging about my belly and 80's trivial commercial characters. Thanks, I am a loser. All I am missing is a dingy cat to pet, some Fiber 1 cocktail and a Kathy comic. Sad... just sad.
Anyways... Jeff is competing in a tournament tomorrow and Mexican Jessica and I are going to spectate. It should be a good time... what is better then watching men wrestle in minimal clothes all day... Yeah that's what I thought.

I went and saw Twilight again this week. Holy Hell... I might be a **TAD** obsessed with Edward. I want to run my hand in his fabulous hair and have him bite my neck... Ok now I think that this blog is headed down hill. I might need a minute.
Ok I have done enough damage for one night.... but SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP look what I found on YouTube.... How festive! Whip out your blue blockers, rainbow scrunchy (Yuck) and get your Miami Vice jackets, because these Raisins are rocking out just in time for Christmas :)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

WAY TO GO AVEO! & sings it Beyonce!

I haven't been a very good blogger you guys sorry.
You guys some stupid d bag rear-ended me last week. But don't you worry... the Aveo took it like a champ! Just scratches along the bummer. Her forester on the other hand... all head lights broke and smashed in bummers. Even though she hit me... the Aveo kicked that cars ass! Nice job Chevy on making a durable small car... Nice job.
Hmmmmm, what else, what else.... Thanksgiving was good. Made some pies, they were quite delish. The apple pie on the other hand.... SHOOOOOOT spilled half of it in the oven. And we wont mention the lake of sugar in Jess's apple pie... HAHAHA that was the most fun I have ever had baking in my life!
I have the Wife Swap on behind me, (because I don't feel like getting up and changing the channel) and it is the some real stupid garbage. Sorry if you watch this trash but what the hell is the point? Right now a kid is yelling at the "mom" for believing in Jesus, and being a "stupid, ignorant American".... Hmmmm, I think if you are a teen age boy with hair to your waste, nasty red sideburns to your chin (always hideous people... ALWAYS!) and a dagger necklace, you probably should lay off the advice and lectures unless you are conducting a dungeons and dragons meeting.
I am real proud people, I have all my Christmas shopping done! I already gave two of my friends their gifts because I was so excited!! I like to give people things ok.
Good news Scoot just did number 1 all over the floor. IDIOT! Listen I don't believe in abuse but I gave him a couple of swats... What the hell was he thinking! He went out an hour ago... geeeez the pood's are killing me! He's probably rebelling since we are leaving them in the kennel for a week at Christmas.
My friend burned me the new PINK cd... it is quite good! BUYS IT! I need to get Britney's new one. I am LOVING her "comeback". I'll tell you what else I love... Marley and Me so far! I want to finish the book before the movie comes out, because everyone knows that my number one girl crush is Jennifer Aniston! Close second is SJP. You guys I totally read something about them making a sequel to SATC!! I think my heart stopped for a hot minute! LOVES IT! I am also digging Beyonce's newish song "Single Ladies"... clicks it! (thanks Jess and Tiffles for showing me it!)

This blog is pathetic, sorry.... I am losing my touch. I need topics people, comment and post something for me to rant about :) Sorry I suck! I have had a few new comments from people that read my blog that I didn't know read it... I am getting so popular lol I love that I have so many readers. Maybe I should make it a career.. but I have to stop sucking first.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Police it up and slay a Turkey

Here's a little something to make your Wednesday a little Police-a-rific! LOOOOVE Sting and want to meet Roxanne....

And for tomorrow... Happy Turkey massacre day! ... Kidding....sort of...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Here are a few things I am thankful for:
1- My husband and that he looks so much like Chuck Norris
2-My fabulous friends and family
3-My Chi
4- The pood's and their Halloween costumes
5- Vegas... LOOOOOVES me some Vegas
6- Bon Jovi, AC DC, Guns and Roses, Aerosmith... and all the other butt rock bands I heart so much
7-Pumpkin Pie
8- Health - minus my stupid f'in jaw (The f'in i necessary parents)
9- The DVR on the TV
10- Edward Cullen, he's pretty much hot and pretty much unattainable, SHOT! (He's from Twilight in case you are new)

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I was Tagged by Christie Kay.

Defination of quirk:n.1. A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy: "Every man had his own quirks and twists" Harriet Beecher Stowe.2. An unpredictable or unaccountable act or event; a vagary: a quirk of fate.
Rules: Link the Person who Tagged you. Mention rules on your blog. Tell about 6 quirks of yours. Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same.Leave a comment to let them know.

1- I instantly judge anyone with the following traits - Bad teeth, wearing scrunchies, scrunched socks, loves Star Wars or Trek, love Nascar, dye their own hair, sweaty people NOT in the gym and muffin tops. I judge and to be quite honest I think all of use do... even Mexican Jessica. :)

2- The first thing I notice about anyone is their hair. **BIG SURPRISE RIGHT** Whether I do their hair my self or not, I am always checking out their hair. Looking for mistakes in color and cuts. It comes with the career people.

3- I am an addict when in comes to reality TV shows on VH1. I don't always know what is going on in my state, or what day of the month it is, but I usually ALWAYS know everything about those shows. Whats wrong with liking a little reminder of how normal you are? Listen this is how I became friends with strippers in Vegas...

4- Also a big surprise, I am 100% head over heels with Las Vegas. I love the night life, crazy drunks, the stale smoke smell, the clubs, the traffic, the lights, the weather, the ringing of slots machine and people loosing their money.... EVERYTHING! If I could live there I would in a hot minute.

5- If I go to the Newgate mall, I ALWAYS have to get a Raspberry Chillers from the Jungle Juice drink place. Every time people.... every time.

6- If you mention lice, my scalp instantly itches... and I have to go to a mirror and check. It freaks me out. Great now my scalp itches... DAMN IT!!!

I tag Jessica, Tiffany, Jana, Stephanie, Mary Rose and Patty.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Just Bitchin'

Ok.... so I really do have stuff to say. There are a couple things I would like to discuss...
One - Private Blogs. Ok I get people want privacy, but I think its totally lame. Don't have a blog, that's the whole point idiots. Do you "publicly" talk shit or what? And who are you, Britney Spears? Even famous people have public blogs.... your not that special, thanks bye. And I was told, people really aren't paying that much attention to you.
Two - "Family". And I don't mean immediate necessarily. Without disclosing to much for the mere fact that I don't want that drama in my life... Just a few words, Disrespectful, arrogant for reasons that are FOREIGN to me, "Lewis", back stabbers/shit talkers and don't know what family really is or how they should be treated.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I'm done. Anyways, not a lot is new, just same old. I can't believe that it's only a couple weeks until Thanksgiving? Um Hi, 2008 where did you go?
I went to Chili's tonight and had an excellent tilapia. Ok, this is stupid and not interesting.
Even though this is not a brand new song, I also love this...

You guys... I love Pink. **Biggie, look away** I might consider being a lesbian for her, I'm just saying. She is fabulous and I freaking LOVE her hair. I wish I could be brave enough for that, but it turns out I am mostly talk when it comes to the short hair gig. Mama, I think we should consider that for your next haircut. Anyways, about this video, I got a text message from my big bro Trey about how the song reminded him of me... haha, I am not real sure why but Jeff really doesn't like that.
You guys if you can't tell, I just barely figured out how to post videos, shut up, I'm new apparently...
Listen you guys, no news with the botox. I still haven't done it yet because I am not sure if I want one side botox face and one side stroke face.... I don't know, I just don't know.
This is what I have going no next to me... minding their business..

OK I am done with this business.... O before I part, does anyone know how you can tell who checks your blog? I am interested in knowing who checks this that I in return can't check theirs, and who never comments... I know its possible, Jessica I might need you to show me...

O O O, I almost forgot, YEAH OBAMA!!!!!! You guys, I totally cried when he got elected, and gave his kick ass speech, totally moved and regained confidence in the American people. Literally watching huge steps being taken and watching history happen, something I will never forget! :)

Friday, November 7, 2008

That's Right.... Britney

Say what you want, but Britney's new song is awesome, and if you don't think so, then you can just sit and spin. Plays it! I am pretty much dancing in my chair!
Also, this just in Brad Pitt, has a mustache now. Thanks. He looks like a mix between Charlie Chaplin and Hitler. It's true, DLIST it. Ok, that's all.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Yes the dogs dressed up

Hello... the party was awesome, here are a few pictures, I took lik 100, haha. Hope everyone's Halloween was good. The poodles had a great time at the party! Sorry this is short, but I have to get ready for the day.... Boooooo Wish you could hang out in your pj's all day, everyday. I'll start a club that does that.
Anyways, I just wanted to post a huge THANK YOU for everyone that has shown me their support the last couple weeks. It really means alot to know that I have such a wonderful family and friends. Everyone that keeps checking up on me, the calls, emails, kept me busy... I really appreciate it. It is nice to feel like people are so sincere with their feelings, not just it will be ok, just go talk to someone. Thank you for being there for me Love you all!

Monday, October 20, 2008

News flash....I suck at blogs

Listen people, I freaking finished the book. There is something to be said about not sleeping at night, which apparently is my new hobby. NOW if one person posts how long it took me to read this, I will punch you right in the mouth, thanks bye. I am not going to lie, I really loved the book, BUT I thought the ending was anti-climatic compared to the other books. I mean, the last time I wrote a book... whatever she kick's ass.
So these days I have become pretty profesh at the IPOD. And by profesh I mean, copying cd's onto it because I am not real sure how to pay for songs and download them. I suck at technology you guys, crap! Right now I am downloading Fergalicious, I feel like Fergie has a body I would like to aspire for. And by that, I mean hopefully I will listen to the song, be working out and turn into her.
You guys I suck at blogging. I have nothing to say.... ummmm, nobody gave me any ideas about for Halloween and Jeff and I are still costumeless. Not the pood's though...
Ok this blog sucks, bye.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Who's your choice?

(Courtesy of my Mama)
A pictures worth a thousand words.....
At least you can't seem his orange chompers...
Just saying they make me throw up in my mouth a little bit..

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's cool, I am made of money

Well people, there is news on the Jaw front. Turns out I need botox. Yes, you read that correctly, Botox. Apparently I have uncontrollable muscle spasms in my jaw since surgery so that will freeze the muscle. Awesome, because I freaking love needles. Nothing apparently a little laughing gas wont cure, according to my surgeon. They give you a prescription that I get filled and then take to the office. Don't worry, I only look like a complete D Bag trying to fill it, because hello, it's botox. I checked the price to get it filled, and if my insurance doesn't cover that (which I doubt it will), it's $650. Is that all? Hey as my new 2nd job, I will be selling myself on 25th and Wall to pay for botox. I'm a loser....
Anywho.... what else. The poodles are pretty excited for Halloween. Scoot is going to be the Count from Sesame Street and Troy is going to be a police office, which as it turns out looks more like a bell boy on him. He is not help people, he is a cop. We are having a Halloween party which should be pretty fun. I don't know what to be....any ideas??
You guys... my life is so boring! I have nothing to say....
I started this new diet yesterday, called the 11 day diet. You get to pick 15 proteins and 15 fruits/vegetables and it makes you a specific menu. Its pretty hard and I am pretty hunger. A cheese enchilada sounds real good right now, but I WILL LOSE WEIGHT!!! I want bones that stick out and look like I need to eat a cheese burger.
Ok well... I am going because I am not that good at blogging tonight. Next time I will be better... I promise. I have an idea, if you read this post a comment about a topic for me!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Uh What?

Now... everyone has their opinions, but I REALLY hope the LDS church isn't asking people to donate money for this...
I think their are bigger things we need to worry about right now, like crashing economy... war and genocide.... up-coming elections and keeping D bags out of office... Britney Spears latest excursions. I mean we have BIGGER problems...
Whatever... Sorry but I don't agree with this.
(I found the link on

Here's the link :

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Now be honest....

Ok so I stole this picture from my fabulous cousin Rachel's myspace because I LOVE the girls hair in the picture with my cousin. I am thinking of doing those bangs and way blonde with dark pieces again. Now, I want honest opinions here... what do you think? I don't know if I am cool enough.

Friday, September 26, 2008

I heart SATC

Sex And The City came out Tuesday and I left work early and bought it. Yes, you read that right... I left work early. Sometimes I love being my own boss and when people cancel their appointments. However the money from the appointment would have been nice to pay for the movie, but that's the breaks kids. Pretty much fabulous. And I will be bringing it Minnesota :) I will ear-muff the nude parts for you Mama.... except for the never mind.
Ok Thanks Bye!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Vote for Tom Collins

Back from Vegas and o so fabulous! Me likey the Vegas, we met some real weirdos. Always a good time... we saw naked men, danced all night until our feet bleed, saw Siegfried and Roy's Tigers and dolphins, rode the New York New York ride and saw Zumanity which is a Cirque show. We are pretty much fabulous so we had a great time. Jessica cracks me, pretty much loves her thanks. Oo oo o, I saw a sign for someone running for some office there and his name was Tom Collins. Only in Vegas would a person named Tom Collins be running for some kind of office. Their mayor is probably named Slutty McDrunkAss. (P.S. FYI Tom Collins is the name of a drink)
Not much is new with the rest of life. The pood's are still professional HOWEVER one of them has a new trick, it's called getting up and pissing in the spare bedroom. It's pretty fun, to get up every morning to pee and cold poop. We are not sure of which poodle it is... we may have to set up camera's to catch the listen bastard doing it.
Listen you guys, Sex and the City comes out next week. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS! Jeff said that if I waited until Christmas he would buy it for me. Ha Ha HA HAHAHA , I thought it was a joke. I am not waiting until Christmas, but thanks for the offer husband :)
The salon is good, I almost sliced my nuckle off a couple weekes ago, its just barely starting to heal up. It was a pretty professional cut. It was so deep it took about 20 seconds for it to bleed. And you could see not skin underneath. Ok now I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. D I S G U S T I N G.
Ok that's all I think. Have a fabulous weekend thanks bye

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Quit it, I love Nuggets

OK so seriously the best news ever..... I am not quite sure the details but when I was working on my fitness yesterday, E! news was on and they had a title of a new show on "Tiny Entourage". You guys, then they showed a clip with some nugs, which is little people for those of you that don't speak Katchie! All I am saying is, some crass humor, witty sarcasm and a hand full of nugs, and you have a show that I will watch my friends!!!
Hmmm what else... what else.... I am so side tracked by thinking about nuggets...Quit it...
The dogs got their chompers brushed tonight. They 100% hate it. Listen, if I had someone coming at me with a toothbrush that had "poultry" flavor toothpaste, I would be hiding under the bed as well :) Damn dogs, so cute.
You guys I played Suzy Homemaker tonight.... I freaking cleaned the entire downstairs. Looks pretty professional. I actually really like cleaning, kind of relaxing. I have really been slacking though. I lost track of time and totally forgot to eat. I don't think that has ever happened! (Don't worry Mama, once I remembered I had something, stop worrying) I cleaned while watching RENT and playing sing-a-long to all the songs. I am REALLY good you guys. I think that I might try out for American Idol. But o wait, I don't sing in front of people.... just pood's.
I am watching Friends right now and Ross is eating cotton candy. It's pink and looks delish. I need to finds me a Circus like yesterday.
Also I am pretty pissed that Liddell lost his fight on Saturday. I can't stand Rashad Evans. He is kind of a douche. And by kind of I mean BIG TIME! Sad, Sad, Sad.
Well I am fresh out of stuff to type so I am going to go attempt to read. Breaking Dawn.... SO GOOD, and yes I haven't finished, shut up.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

We love you Trey

You are in our thoughts and prayers, as is Evan's family.
~We Love you Brother~

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Olsen Twin by Christmas :)

I am a blogging machiiiiiine!
So my friend Katie posted a blog about the swimmer Lochte. (I posted a link to her blog on the side) Lochte is SOOO hot, shes totally right. He has amazing G I Joe lines. Those are the lines that are on the side of the lower abs leading down to (I am pretty sure my Dad has officially now stopped reading my blog) I thought we weren't aloud to talk about any other swimmer then Phelps. Which don't get me wrong but he is AMAZING, but I thought that if you didn't have Phelps on the brain 24/7 that they deported you to Tijuana. Totally UN-American. Olympics are awesome. Diving is on right now.... which I enjoy watching, however I am always nervous that they are going to smack their heads! I mean, when I signed up to watch Olympics, I didn't sign up for blood and concussions.
You guys I am totally kicking ass at the gym. I have been everyday this week so far. But I am not losing any weight.... but I will keep trying b/c I need to look like Mary Kate and Ashley by Christmas so my Mama will force feed me. :) Love you Mama. I went to body pump today with Mexican Jessica. I like that class, if you never have tried it, Do it. N O W
My brother Trey thinks I need my own show with Jessica T. We are pretty hilarious the rumors are true. I think it would be called.... Pretty Professional at being Fabulous. If you are a TV show producer and you read this (ha ha right) give us a show. Trust me when I say it would be worth your time. We are the original Paris and Nicole... minus the drug problem, & add underwear.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I found a new hobby

I know I posted something like 48 seconds ago. But I was wrapping a present for a friend. I got her something little and the littlest bag I had was a fourth of July bag. So I found some wrapping HAPPY BIRTHDAY wrapping paper and cut out the words and taped it on there! ha! I am so resourceful! I found my self a new hobby... everyone can now except custom bags hahahaha
PS Katie, this is for you!!!! :)

FYI - I live in the freaking hood

Listen You guys I think that half of the people I know have a birthday in August. Just to name a couple, MAMA AND STEPH. Listen, I bought you both fabulous presents. Steph... you already have yours. That fabulous purse your carrying around, yeah thats from me. We don't discuss the horrible purse it replaced. oops :) And Mama, yours is in the mail! If you put a comment about not sending anything, blah blah blah I will say a swear at you ... out of love...
So I am sitting here... bored. Jeff picked up a few hours a night at the half way house on Tuesday nights. The poodles and I are entertaining each other. And by that I mean they are each chewing on a toy and I am watching Friends. Listen, I am taking a break from the Olympics while I can. Jeff doesn't like anything else to be on while the Olympics are going. And I usually feel the same, but nothing that sparks my fancy has been on. Turns out equestrians and long distance marathons aren't really my bag.
I just bought this shirt on Monday on on their Clearance section fro 75% off :
What do you think? Pretty cute for only $5. It's seems like whenever I work down at Howe's I always shop online.
Hmmm..... what else.... My car got broken into. They somehow got my door unlocked and took a bunch of papers. CDs, and a punch of my stuff from my car was thrown around my card, and all over the street. I figure they were looking for like account numbers or something to steal my identity. Losers. Listen you guys, apparently at the mouth of the canyon is the new hood. Just saying, I now drive a lowered Aveo, drink from a paper bag and shop at Gen X. Perfect.
Well thats all I have to say. O o, one more thing, I am still reading Breaking Dawn, and it is VERY good. Shut up people, I am a slow reader!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Get out of here with this cuteness...


My babies are seriously so cute I want to cry. I mean what the hell, They don't even look real! We had a photo shoot the other night, they are pretty professional these days at poodle pictures!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Troy loves olympics and Phelps!

Troy says Hi and Hello. How cute is that.... I mean seriously, I am jealous of myself for owning him, damn! ( This is from their haircuts, I will get one of Scoot but he doesn't like to hold still)
So .... all I can say is I have Olympic fever! Phelps... Amazing. I mean seriously. He is incredible. They should of just handed all of the gold medals of him and kicked the rest of the guys in their speedo parts because thats pretty much whats happening.
Those Chinese girl gymnastics team is good... but whoever told those girls that they were 16 was pretty much lying through their teeth. I have clothes older then them ok. .... Ok not really but you get it.
I will be taking up beach volleyball. Because beach volleyball = kick ass body. Thanks.

I have been going back to the gym on a super regular basis, and am back to my pretty strict diet. I am pretty proud of myself, and better look like one of the Olsen twins by Christmas. Because right now I feel like 7 of them.

Hmmm.... What else.... Oh Christie had her baby on Sunday. Jackson Victor Chelaru. He is SO cute! He has Vic's squinty eyes haha. Its true. I will post a picture next time of him. Little Romanian baby face.

I must say I like that Jeff is now home at nights. I kinda like him. He is combing out Scoot right now (they just got a bath because Troy pee'd on Scoots head outside) and Scoot is crying his poodle eyes out. :( Don't feel to bad for him, I think he really is a girl with boy dangly parts. Just saying.... I am sure my Dad loved that last sentence. He probably is shaking his head right now. Love you Biggie!

I would like to give a shout out to my amazing parents. I think they are pretty much amazing and incredibly strong people! ... I mean they made me right... You guys I don't have an ego I just know I am fabulous. I am getting off topic.... I have the best parents I gal could ask for and I would do anything for them. This is a great picture of you guys, compliments of my wedding.
I wonder who reads this?... If I know you, and like you... feel free to drop a comment once in a while. Don't be a stranger, just curious of how actually reads my non-sense.
Have a great week and watch the Olympics or what I am calling Phelps - Fest 2008.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Save A Life.... Do it !

I was reading through some of my old blogs that I has posted on Myspace and came across the one about the life of a dog that ended up in the shelter and put to sleep. As I sit here...balling... after re-reading it, I can not express how much I care about animals. It is SO unfair the way some people treat dogs, or any pet for that matter. I can not express enough my feelings on adopting a pet. There are so many animals that are just waiting a for a loving and caring home that they deserve at the shelter. These animals don't deserve to die. In fact they deserve the exact opposite, when I read about it from the dogs point of view, just waiting for their owner (here I go balling again...), it absolutely rips me apart.
I know its sad and I ball every time I read it but I am going to re-post it on here. I feel like it should give people perspective. Golden rule people... even with animals.

*****Copied and pasted from's classifieds, under dog shelters*****

How could you? This is sad..... A man in Grand Rapids, Michigan took out a $7000 full page ad in the paper to present the following essay to the people of his community:

HOW COULD YOU? By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?"- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" --still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch--because your touch was now so infrequent-- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind-that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies,oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself--a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

Think of what you could be saving by adopting.... You could have a baby, with eye's that tell you Thank You for loving me.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Yes Hi Hello, I am still Alive

Hello people. Listen, this month has been a little hectic, Sorry for not posting more. I am usually pretty professional at blogging.
Well...lets see... O o, Jeff and I went and saw The Dark Knight on Pioneer's Day. It was AWESOME! It is a must see... Christian Bale, is hot thanks. Heath Ledger was kick ass and should get an Oscar!
The poodles have their first post haircut since the horrible fiasco of Pets Mart 2008. I am not gonna lie, I am REAL nervous. My poor babies.... they are a little nervous since last time they looked like jerks... so we had a talk. And this time they have permission to bite the person if they maybe them look stupid. The dogs have also been working on their tricks. They are doing really well... Now then can do sit, shake and down....kind of. haha
So since it has been Pioneer week the last week I have told my Pioneer Trek story like 100 times. Listen you guys, I am STILL traumatized by this event. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life... Sometimes, I have nightmares about it. I am just saying if you are thinking about doing it... DON'T it's terrible and a life ruiner. I am also saying that bishop got an ear full from me, including swears.
For all those concerned, I think my toe nail is growing back!!! Yeah!!!
Hmmmmm....I wonder how many people actually read this thing.... Just a thought....
I have been watching a lot of my friends DVD's lately and I am falling back in love with it all over again!! What a terrific show! They just don't make it like they used to do they?
I went out with some girlfriends this weekend as a going away party for my friend Jessica, she is going to law school in Virgina. That is crazy you guys, that is like a really professional adult stuff guys. But I think its awesome she is going, I am sure she is going to do great ! Here is a picture of us at the Huka....
Ok this post is terrible, I am will be better next time... promise! PS If you haven't gone to Welchkin Wire or Steph's Blog, Do it... they have posted pictures of my new nephew Presley, aka Lennon, and he is SOOOOOO cute! Have a great Tuesday !

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I heart Elvis... And Lennon

Memphis was very fun.... No thanks to Lennon who didn't make his grand entrance until today! I am thrilled he is finally here and that everything went smoothly today at the hospital. I have a nephew!! Welchkin Wire has photo's compliments of Mama . He is a little butter ball !!!
Back to Memphis.... Listen you guys we went to Graceland. I don't fancy myself to be an Elvis fan but it was pretty cool to go there. Fun to see stuff that I probably wouldn't otherwise have seen since no baby came. My picture at the top is me in front of his mansion, enjoying a delicious Icee. Don't judge me... I like them, get over it ! Here are some photos
Listen... I am listening to Fall Out Boy's "thanks for the memories" which usually isn't my type of music, especially since Mr. Ashlee Simpson aka Pete W. wears too much make-up...but I really like the song. Youtubes it. Well I think that is about it. O yeah, Thanks everyone for a fabulous birthday!!!!! I am for sure loved.... and don't forget fabulous!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Birthday ideas

This just might be the best shit I have ever heard and/or come acorss in my life..... I would like a nice dress for my birthday, if anyone is interested.... Clicks it on the following website. I wear size chubby....



I'm seriously dying over here!!!!!!!! Get out of my life with that.... However it would make a nice Halloween costume, maybe Jeff can dress do match as a dirty old douche bag creep and start taking notes from his sex offender clients right now.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Going... Going... Damn it, it's Gone

DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen, for those of you that don't like swears.... this deserves one so just chill out ok, I could have said son of a b*tch... or something that starts with an F... ok I am getting off subject...
I lost my toe nail. I would like to personally thank that grosky biotch at TAO for stepping on my toe. I now look disgusting. You can judge me, I am with S like that on my foot. PS It feels sick, thanks. I added a viewing pleasure for you :) Mexican Jessica told me tonight to just paint one on.... yeah thanks, I will for sure take that into consideration....riiiight....
O whats that you say, no problem You are WELCOME.

As for Baby Shower 2008 for Mama Christie, it went great.... for a baby shower. Sorry to tell you people but showers are a snoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooze fest. So Jess and I entertained our selfs by jazzing things up when she wrote down what everyone got her. I included a picture of all of the friends that came to the shower and then one of Jessica pointing to BOOB CREAM on the list of gifts...
She also wrote things like
* we hate onsies
* Your baby will be traumatized by this gift...
* Celina smiled for the first time the entire shower
Pretty much a in detail play by play on each gift... it was pretty entertaining at the time, people probably thought we were so rude, laughing in the corner
I looked fabulous at the shower in my Bitten Dress by SJP, Thanks Jess I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!

Anyways, Christie and I are off to see Sex and the City one last time (her first) because it will be out of theaters as of tomorrow night, So hello its a must! Have a great Monday night, and enjoy the picture of the toe! Man, between the sideburns and the missing toenail I am a real winner!

Monday, June 16, 2008

I am home, and someone should sew Katherine Hiegls mouth shut

I am home from Vegas....
Here are some highlights
1. We rolled V I P style to TAO at the Venetian where we danced until 2am. We looked fabulous by the way. Some biotch stepped on my toe with some killer high heels (leaving a quarter size blood stain on my shoes) and now I am pretty sure my toenail will fall off, and possibly contracted Hepatitis A, B and C.
2. The Platinum is freakin' sweet and we laid by the pool like real professionals.
3. I may have possibly learned how to use an IPOD on the this trip.
4. The NEW YORK NEW YORK ride is awesome... if you want shaking baby syndrome. Note to self: Not the best idea if you have just had jaw surgery....oops
5. I have the best girlfriends a girl could ask for.
6. I am really good at dancing, in case you didn't know already.
7. Margarita-ville has great coconut shrimp.
8. "My name is Johnny Vegas"... - guy on the street
"That's not his real name..." - Jess aka Susie Vegas
9. "Look, that guy is dressed like a Midget.." - Jess HAHAHHAHA How do you dress up like a midget??
Here is a picture of my girls at Margarita Ville :
I am listening to Britney Spears' "CRAZY"... its an oldie but makes you want to bust out a dance move... here is the link for youtube... CLICKS IT!
Well, Jeff is headed home from his big Bonnaroo experience. Turns out they couldn't stomach another bus ride (HAHA) so they are renting a car from Nashville and are driving straight home, which he said is about a 24 hour drive. Let me tell you why this is hilarious... because who in their ride mind would think a damn 45 hour greyhound bus ride ever sounded appealing. Not the quickest those ones :) I miss him lots, so I am pretty excited that they are going to be home sooner then Wednesday. He will be home about 1pm tomorrow.
How about Katherine Hiegl turning down her nomination for an Emmy? What a bitch... No good matter my ass... someone should remove the perma-smoke from her grubby mits and sew her ugly mouth shut. What an idiot... I hate her, she is a real piece of work. Yuck!
Hmmm, what else.... nothing really I guess. I have to keep explaining to the pood's that they don't come from a broken home... they miss their Dad.
I am boring tonight so that's really all I have to say.... Nights !

Thursday, June 12, 2008

"its makin' a paste..."

Viiiiiiva Las Vegas, We leave in a short 9 hours.... Shut up, yes there is a countdown. Listen, It will be fun! Everyone have a great weekend, and I will put some money on the blackjack for everyone. (Ok, not really I think gambling is for the birds!) PS Thanks to Mary and Adam for watching my beloved Pood's!

BTW, Jeff, after a short 40+ hour bus ride is finally in TN! HAHAHA, sooo glad that's not me ! Camping, Bus Rides and not showering, yeah that's not me. BUT, I am sure that he will create many memories! As will I!

Listen people, I am real ReaL hungry... its almost midnight and I have brushed my teeth twice to try and curb my hunger. FYI, doesn't always work so well. O o, and I am back to bleaching my teeth again on a regular basis, I give myself 2 weeks before I get out of control again :)

I am watching/listening to FRIENDS and it is the episode with the leather pants!! HAHA That S his hilarious... "'s makin' a paste, Their not comin' off man..." HAHA

To be quite honest,this week has been uneventful, so for once in my life I don't have much to say. Yes, I know you are relieved.
O But before I part,

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Loves Me some S A T C

Listen I went and saw Sex and the City... opening day... in the second row. It was good, I laughed, I cried.... it moved me! See it! The wardrobes were fabulous, the plot was great and their are some hot guys <... I'm not going to lie ok.

CAUTION: There is a wiener shot in this movie... A real one... Jeff wasn't so jazzed about it...

This is my SATC shirt I bought, with "Carrie" looking fabulous. It said Sex and the City on the back. Mary Rose also bought me tank that says that too.
Seriously, y'all I plan on seeing this movie multiple times in theater's and you better believe I am going to own the S.

BTW, this is my new hair (for the moment) Carmely brown with dark brown. I can do anything, let's be honest here, I am pretty good looking.

Ok I saw in PEOPLE magazine today that Eli Manning got married... What the hell, who would want to marry that bitchy little troll! Yuck, he is not my fav ok. I am listening to Britney's Break the Ice right now, it's good, youtube that S right now. Also, if you haven't heard Madonna/Justin Timberlake's 4 minutes, youtube that also, VERY GOOD! LOVES IT!

Alright, I have to go to bed, we have to be at the hospital at 6:45 am, for Jill's knee surgery. Have a great weekend!

PS Happy Birthday to Adam tomorrow!

O o o, PPS I am going to Vegas in a Week! Yeah! We are going to TAO! We are going to dance our cans off! Pretty professional people...

Friday, May 30, 2008

And I am living in a sensored world, ... and I am just a swearing girl

... Ok Listen.... Now, when I titled this blog, Listen I have stuff to say... I imagined posting more blogs like the blog I am about to write, but lets face it... I am pretty damn funny and pretty much have adult ADD so I go off on little rants.
I was thinking the other day... Is honestly really the best policy? And yes, I know that you should always be honest, don't lie but in certain situations do people really want to know the truth? Certain situations like:

Do I look Fat?
Do I look like that guy from SpaceBalls...? :)
Is my hair ugly?
Does this scrunchy go with this? (ALWAYS NO, it's not 1993)
Am I a good employee?
Am I a good person... friend...colleague ?

Now, with me... like it or not, I will always tell you the truth... Curse, Blessing. When I was talking to my mama the other day, I was telling her I don't sensor myself around her or any of my family because that way they know they are always getting the real me... Whether I they get me on a bad day and shit is all I have to say or a good day when I can get by with only a few swears... Now I am not saying that just because I swear, that you should assume that I always honest... But isn't it better that I am not lying about who I am to you? Because then if you know that I am always forth-right with you about my personality, and who I am on a day to day basis, isn't it easier to know that when you want an answer or an opinion, that you can expect the same. Does that even make sense ? Well I think You know what I am saying... With my non-sensorship, it is me showing you that I can be my true honest self, Love it...loathe it... Let's be 100% honest here, I don't care if you like it. It's who I am damn it, and if you don't like it, know one is forcing you to read my blogs. Not that I am really sure that, that many people actually do.. but it is a good outlet for me. Because, sometimes I don't feel like people want to actually HEAR what I have to say, or the truth for that this way I can write it.
Well enough of that shit....
Ok, so I freakin' sitting here current time is 10:52 am, waiting for this stupid ass plumber who was supposed to be here at 10am. It's cool, when at 10:45, I called this 88 year old answered and was very helpful with the comment ..."O, its already Friday May 30th?"
S H * T... very promising answer I am thinking. It's fine, he said he would call me back in a minute and that was almost 15 minutes ago.
On an extremely lighter note, SEX AND THE CITY came out today!!!!! Jeff is taking me tonight to see it... its cool I gots me a pretty professional SATC shirt to wear! I don't think I have ever been this excited! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited people!!!!!!!
Also, I am in love with PINK, I listened to her CD all the home from SLC last night, and Me loves her! Not in a lesbian way, however... she may be one wolve t-shirt and a large Chevy truck away from being one... Still, I am obsessed with her CD... STILL!

Well, that is all I am have to say.... Have a great weekend people!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I am turning into Martha Stewart.. Ok not really

Listen, I freakin' planted some flowers over the weekend... no guarantee's on if they will live or die but they look pretty professional. Seriously people, I amaze myself. Here are a couple of photo's :

I planted red and white Columbines, Pansies and a plant and a flower that I don't know the names of. All I know is they like shade. We also put down cobble stone which I love. We had an extra block so I put it on the deck and put my potted plants (From Mama and Grandma) on it. I think it looks pretty good... Just saying. Ok, now I shouldn't be admitting this but I totally got taken at freakin' Lowe's. So I went there this past weekend to pick up a few more pieces of cobblestone and some floors, and they have signs around saying 6 pack for $X.XX ( different prices for each, ranging from like $1.98 +)... So I thought well this is a good deal, so I picked out 3 different ones... O no, by six pack they mean one of those dinky little things with 6 single flowers... which apparently I am not smart enough to know, because by that sign they had six of those little dinky things in a flat (thinking that was the 6 pack). Well, I get up to check out ( after waiting in the Damn heat for 25 minutes), and the weird cashier with a band-aid on her noses, tells me $70. I am pretty sure that I almost passed out... because I had like 18 dinky 6 packs. The moral of the story is, take someone with you that knows what they are doing! Freak, I am still pissed about it! These damn flowers better sprout clothes or something at the price! HELL!
My side burns are looking real shit-a-rific but whatevs ... This picture isn't very good but if you look closely you can see a line on the side of my ear, which is my scar. He did a fabulous job, all things considered. I am being serious though, He really did! Thanks for the nice scar and the side burns Dr. Austin, Thanks!

Ok now listen, this is the poodles the other morning while I was getting ready! It's pretty damn cute if you ask me! THEY ARE SO FREAKING CUTE I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT!!!! Ahhh, Poooooooodle Boys!

Sex and the City comes out in 10 days! You can't see me right now, but I am grinning ear to ear jumping up and down.... I am so excited I could puke.... but I wont... but I could.
Listen, that is all I have to say b/c I am Real, REAL tired people, sorry for not blogging as much lately, I will be better b/c I know everyone is dieing to know what I have to say! Have a great Wednesday, until next time....

PS Congrats Eric on graduating from Law School, you are a pretty professional adult!

Monday, May 12, 2008

I need to be medicated until Sex & the City comes out...

I really love sideburns... mine are growing quite nicely haha...Right, I will just keep telling myself that. Here are the chops progress...

Pretty sweet right... The pictures are of the pood's to show their progress of their hair growth since the massacre at PetsMart last month... what a damn joke. Anyways, they pictures are of the pood's and I rockin' out to some G-n-R. For those of you that are rock - retarded, that is Guns and Roses... Thanks.
Anywho, I would like to give a shout out to my Mama! Thanks Mama, I love ya and thanks again for everything this last week!
Let's see... I have been slammed the last few days at the salon (Thank Goodness!) I am loving being there full time.
What else... I feel like my life has been boring lately. Currently the pood's are playing tag while I types up this blog and am watch/listening to Fools Rush In. If you haven't seen it, rent that shit right now. It is one of my very favorite movies!!!

Selma Hayek is freaking gorgeous, I'm pretty pissed about it.
Ok Now listen, this is really important, Sex and the City comes out in 18 days!!! They keep showing the trailer on TV and I am getting so anxious I can't even stand it. I may need to take medication to calm me down. Seriously people I LOVE THAT SHOW, Do you understand?
Well that's all I have to say for now I guess... Have a great tuesday!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Done and Done

****GOOD NEWS****
I didn't die in surgery... I do have this pressure wrap around my head and if you could see the back part of it, It looks like I have a damn jock strap on my head! HAHA It feels SO good to be done... thanks for all the phone calls and texts the past couple days, especially today ! I have some pretty amazing family and friends!
I am one lucky gal!
Really you guys, thank you all SOOOOO Much. And thanks to my great husband, I am really lucky to have found someone like him. He has taken great care of my thus far, and I am sure will continue to! Thanks babe!
I love you all!

I really look hot in this picture... haha and my lips look HUGE!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Friday, April 25, 2008

Sensual Seduction in Las Vegas

I am watching Snoop's new video on YouTube right now... Snoop means some business in his new song Sensual Seduction... Watch that S, it's totally 70's ok!

We went to Vegas people and had a fabulous time... We freakin' saw a street called Ogden Ave.
Pretty professional if you ask me...
We had fun and only bet $2 on penny machines... Mama and Biggie said I could only gamble, but after $2 I was bored. Gambling is for the birds... here are some photo's.
Don't mind my fat arms and ugly shirt in the second picture, I honestly thought I looked ok for the day.. but turns out somebody lied to me! I for sure looked cuter that night. Don't be jealous we are pretty good looking.... it's cool.

Surgery is next Wednesday. I might die... so if I do, please don't let my shaved spot on my head show in my casket thanks! BOOO for shaving part of my head for surgery, I hope I don't have a Britney moment.
Speaking of Britney... that girl really has her S together these days! Good for her.... I haven't heard much about Amy Wino either, maybe she went to rehab again. However I did see a picture of her holding a baby and taking a shot of booze. Don't hate, she is a 100% legit babysitter, she can teach your kids Body shots and how to shot meth... The kids have to learn it somewhere. Her babysitting requirements are just salt, a lime and a a clean needle... hell not ever a clean one, just any old rusty needle should do.

What else.... O I had my first full week at the salon this week and it was SO nice! I love doing hair! I really do...
AND I became a Vegetarian as of Monday this week... I have been thinking about it and I don't like eating food that once had a face. I just want to hug an animal, not eat them. I have really thought about this you guys and it has been hard BUT I feel it is worth it and I feel better when my dogs and I have talks, because now I can tell them I don't eat animals anymore. But lets be honest... I love meat I mean I grew up in TX for crying out loud, this venture might be short lived. We shall see!
Ok that's it, this blog isn't as good as my usual and I feel like it's boring, SO I will stop boring us both! Have a great weekend!


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bad Haircuts, Cookies, and 80's rock

So I took my two ADORABLE pood's to get their haircut this weekend... for their birthday of course... and they ended up like this
Ok now at one point I had the cutest dogs in the world... one's that were so cute nobody's dogs could even hold a candle to them especially Scoot MaGoot...
NOW I have Troy who looks like that box head / flat face bad guy with curly hair off of Dick Tracy and Scoot that looks like a Mini Pin or a two color chihuahua with long ears wearing a damn helmet. Seriously y'all look at MaGoots legs, they look like freaking pencils! NOT CUTE! Troy isn't to bad.. but good hell poor Scoot...

(BTW Troy wanted everyone to see his favorite rope so it's in the picture)

On a lighter note, I went to Wal-Mart to get a refill of a prescription and waited in line for 15 minutes for this girl with EXTREMLY bad roots to tell me that it was still being filled... Really? Because the s*it was called in at noon but OK! So she tells me to step to the side and they will call my name... in the mean while I have to wait, white trash broads chatting my head off... Do I look like I work for food stamps and smack, Don't talk to me! For crying out loud... 30 minutes later of these two classy dames and I FINALLY get my prescription!
I am listening to Aerosmith's "Crying" y'all and it's sweet! YOUR LOVE IS SWEET MISERY... Loves me some Steven Tyler mmmmmmkay.
You guys, I am funny ok, I am re-reading this and I should have my own show!
O o o, I made some freakin' sugar cookies last night... they were some pretty professional wheat sugar cookies... YUM! I am just saying they are good.... I made them for my bestie Jess's birthday... Which was Monday! I got her a real real good gift, BUT I can't tell you what because she does not have it yet, I will see her beautiful mug tomorrow!
NOW it's Dude looks like a lady.... Mrs. Doubtfire anyone?
AND to keep everyone updated with my Jaw, I have surgery scheduled for April 30th... I will have an a scar by my left ear like a face lift and POSSIBLY on my other side if I have to opened up there too. They are hoping the right side can be fixed with a scoop but if not CUT IT OPEN... for those of you that want a good laugh, I will have to have about an inch up above my ear shaved for surgery, I am putting steps in the s*it when it starts to grow back just for my bro-in-law Eric, he LOVES steps! :) The surgery is out patient and I don't know a time yet... It will be at Mckay Dee surgical center, I might be more nervous about having my blood drawn so if anyone wants to donate blood and put it in my name that would be fabulous! Thanks!
Ok and I just have to say I AM SO glad that on Rock of Love that Bret picked Ambre not that stupid duck face Daisy! I can't wait for the reunion show it looks like Heather from season one beats Daisy's ass! Man, VH1 is awesome! :)
Now I am listening to Poison's "Unskinny Bop"...
OK I have to go this is getting ridiculous...

PS Vegas Friday!