I still can't believe it...
... 2 weeks to the day, I was sitting next to my fragile, and dying Grandpa. I got a call from my Grandma that my Grandpa had taken a turn for the worst and was dying. After talking to my cousin Mechelle, we conceded that it was best for me to go up to my Aunt Robin's house, where they have been living for a little while. I feel really blessed that I was able to my last good byes to him, he didn't say much because he wasn't really able to talk very well, but when I looked into his pain filled eyes I knew that he knew how much he meant to me. Jeff, Trey and I stayed there a long time, I think I left about 1. Even though it was the last time I saw him, I will always keep with me happier and healthier times and all the smiles, hugs, and talks we shared. That was the hardest thing for me to do this far in my life... to get up from the bed next to him and know that, when I left....he would be gone. The last thing I said to him was.. I loved him, and how amazing of a man he was and if he needed to go that we would be ok and that we understand that it was his time.
Two days later... he passed away.
As I sit here balling like the emotional basket case I am (which PS is from my Grandpa... we're BIG TIME criers...) I remember the good times.. Here are just a few memories that pop out at me :
*When we lived in Denver, my Grandparents and some cousins came out to visit. One afternoon he was reading the paper at the table, where my cousin was sitting with him... and I over hear my Grandpa say to Ryan..."hey Ryan, there is a concert in here for the Bare Naked Ladies, we should go to that!"... My cousin replies to him, "Grandpa... they're a band, they aren't naked and they are men.."
*2 years ago, he had taken a turn for the worst and all the family was asked to come to the nursing home he was staying at (For a surgery I believe), we all spent the night hanging out there, even had our family Christmas Party there that night in their dining area. There was just a couple people in his room at one point during the Christmas gathering, including Mary and I and he started talking about his favorite song, which happened to be the one they danced to at his wedding. And through all his pain and suffering he began to sing to us... it was just a few moments, but it was an incredibly moving moment. He loved to sing and was a wonderful singer...
*In high school, I went up one afternoon to their home to visit and after I visited with my Grandma, she told me to go say hi to my Grandpa, who was in the basement. He was always in the basement working on one of his MANY projects. This particular day he had cut out a bunch of wood to make tigers and was painting them. He was an incredible painter and artist...truly amazing. So I went down their to find him painting away, listening to the an AM radio station with songs from the 30's and 40's and he told me to get a chair, and he and I painted Tigers. Not a lot was said, we didn't need to, we were enjoying each others company. I don't know why this memory was so significant to me, but it was nice to be doing something he loved, together.
*In Good old Marshall, MN.. they do things weird. At their High School graduation's they ask you to keep all applause and cheering to the very end, which isn't weird but the fact that EVERYONE listens and doesn't make a peep, is weird. Now seriously... like you could hear a pin drop. Its real, real weird. Well, when Mary Rose graduated my Grandpa and I thought that was crap, so in the dead silence of an ALL TO SERIOUS high school graduation.. they call her name and Grandpa and I jumped up and cheered... it was awesome and yes people shook their heads... We didn't care.
His services were wonderful, and it was nice to be able to connect with my immediate and extended family and spend time with my amazing Grandma. She is handling everything so well.. the day of the funeral I saw her that morning for the first time since he passed and she told me that she felt like she was the one that died.... Her and I shared some tears and she completed it with "He really was an amazing man.." He really was.
Thank you to everyone for being so supportive and caring during all of this. I feel so grateful to have an amazing family and incredible friends. A few of my best friends came out to the viewing and the funeral.. I tried to tell them it was ok, but they really wanted to show their support...even though 2 of them had never met my Grandpa. So thank you guys for being so great, and out of the goodness of your hearts, attending. I don't know how I obtained such fabulous friends! Also, thanks to Jeff's family who all came to the viewing and then to the funeral... They are so great to me and so supportive to not only me, but my family as well, I feel very fortunate to have married into that family. And to my family immediate, and extended... it was nice to all be there and remember him as a family, because to my Grandpa, family was everything. I love you all... and thanks for putting up with a serious blog, ......... doesn't happen to often.
PS I am posting some pictures my sister Steph took at the grave site, there is a really good one of a Vet playing to TAPS since he is a veteran, a sweet one of Aleece watching the grave dedication and one of my sweet, loving Grandma...
PPS... to my cousins that tell me they "blog stalk" me... you can comment ya know :)